In order to better make sense of the last few years and trying to move forward with my life I’ve decided to buy the following four books:

  • South of Forgiveness: A True Story About Rape and Responsibility
  • When Things Fall Apart
  • So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed
  • The Worm at the Core: On The Role of Death in Life

I shall dedicate myself to writing book reviews of each and writing some notes down for each book. I will be doing one book a month and trying to get each book review done before the month is over.

I bought the first book because although the accusations against me were partially untrue, I also know that I have not done my best with issues of consent and boundaries in these past few years or so. I want to do better and I think this book can help convince me that I can still be a good or better person even after making terrible mistakes in my life.

I bought the second book on the recommendation of Emmi Bevensee and their wonderful series on autonomy and consent over on C4SS. Specifically their most recent article on Whisper Networks. I’ve been enjoying their series, however difficult it can be to read at times.

I bought the third book to see how others have dealt with accusations and what to make of shame in my life. This book has a more cursory role to do with me bettering myself but I want to see how I can react better in the future, help others in the future and just get me to think about shame with regards to its role in social activism communities.

I bought the fourth book so I can think about the role of death in my own life. Especially as someone who deals with chronic depression, anxiety, existential crises and feels as if they can’t do any better at times, I want to re-examine how death motivates and demotivates. I also find terror management theory fascinating and want to learn more about it.

In addition to these books I’ve been discussing issues as varied as my anger problems, my past issues with consent, my problems dealing with existence itself and how I can be a better person. I’ve had similar discussions with my group of close friends to good results.

Lastly, I’ve been journaling for a few months now and recently reached entry 100 on it. In those entries I talk about what I am thankful for, what I am feeling and what solutions I can do to improve myself.

I contemplated posting a 6 month retrospective and update on what I’ve been up to but this seems shorter and hopefully speaks for itself.

Looking forward to working on myself in the coming months.

Take care and thanks for reading.